WWE All Star Search #12 - Saturday Nights Main Event 2

WWE All Star Search #12 - Saturday Nights Main Event 2

Hello Turnbucklers! It's edition #12 already and this time we're going through Saturday Nights Main Event 2 taking place in October 1985. The first SNME earlier in the year brought in huge numbers for the WWE so it looks like we best get used to this Saturday night entertainment. This card looks stacked to be honest with Hogan, Piper, Orndorff and Andre all appearing. The focus of this week is on the hillbillies and Uncle Elmers wedding...but more on that later. The Orndorff/Piper situation continues this week after 6+ months of tension and build up. Shall we start?

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The Card:

Hulk Hogan (WWE Champ) vs Nikolai Volkoff [Flag Match]

Uncle Elmer vs Jerry Valiant

Paul Orndorff vs Roddy Piper

King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd vs Andre the Giant/Tony Atlas

Brutus Beefcake/Greg Valentine (Tag Team Champs) vs Tony Garea/Lanny Poffo [Tag Team Title Match]

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The Show:

We start with Mean Gene with Nikolai Volkoff and Freddie Blassie. Volkoff promises to take the belt back to Russia in the worst English I've ever heard.

Hulk Hogan cuts a promo telling us young Americans (I see) that he's doing this for us...and I'll say it again, cheers Hulk!

Mean Gene is with Hillbilly Jim and Uncle Elmer who hype up the wedding and party, neither man look too happy though. Piper comes in and rips them a new arsehole with his mean words. PS...who the f*ck is Uncle Elmer?! How is he a relatable character for a worldwide audience?

Our commentators in this one are Vince McMahon and Jesse Ventura.

Hulk Hogan (WWE Champ) vs Nikolai Volkoff [Flag Match]

Of course we start with Nikolai Volkoff giving us a rendition of the Soviet anthem to big heat. That's what The Authority lack today...a Cold War to support their heeldom. Before he comes out, Hogan cuts ANOTHER promo about how sick Volkoff and his patriotism makes him...and then he goes on about protecting the stars and stripes. Out comes Hogan to some patriotic American theme to a HUGE pop. He waves the flag around and everyone is loving it...except non-Americans who are indifferent. Volkoff pearl harbours Hogan to start us off while Hogan isn't even out of his title belt. Volkoff chokes Hogan with his own shirt and I don't think he's gonna get much more offense. I'm very right very quickly as Hogan counters in the corner and floors Volkoff with shots to the head. Clothesline by Hogan sends Volkoff down and he eats an elbow. Headbutts by Hogan which Ventura says he's never seen him use. Volkoff is sent outside where he lands on ... and rings ... the ringbell. Hogan gets sent into the ringpost and Volkoff takes control with a ax handle from the second rope. Nice backbreaker by Volkoff but he doesn't go for the cover until its far too late. Volkoff works over Hogan until he tries for another backbreaker and it gets reversed into a back drop by Hogan. They trade shots with Volkoff keeping control and he nails a scoop slam for 2. Hogan starts to hulk up, no sells punches and you know whats coming. Punches by Hogan, Volkoff goes down, eats a leg drop and Hogan gets the 3 and the chance to wave his flag and abuse the Soviet flag. As Marc P would say, that was a foregone conclusion match. I somehow couldn't see Volkoff waving the Soviet flag on TV mid-Cold War. Match was more fun than other Hogan matches we've seen in the blog so far. Match Rating: *3/4

Mean Gene is with Hogan again and he enjoys the fact he just won. He calls Nikolai Volkoff 'babydoll' before hyping up the upcoming wedding. McMahon and Ventura talk about the wedding dress.

Mean Gene is with Uncle Elmer and Hillbilly Jim and christ, Uncle Elmer says 3 words about his match and wedding and that's all I need to hear from him. Seriously, did WWE find these people at the bus stop?

Uncle Elmer vs Jerry Valiant

Out come the Hillbillies to a good reaction so they must be impressing some people! The Hillbillies dance before Uncle Elmer starts us off with a scoop slam...and gets the 3 count! Why even bother unless they want to PUSH UNCLE ELMER!? The Hillbillies dance after the match. Match Rating: -*

Mean Gene is with Uncle Elmer and friends again and Uncle Elmer almost cuts a promo...but doesn't quite make it.

Jesse Ventura is with Bobby Heenan in the ring and wants to know about Paul Orndorff. Heenan talks about Orndorff firing him and the bounty he put on his head in retaliation. He says he raised that bounty because no one can refuse such a sum of money. He calls Orndorff thick and says he should just retire. Always love hearing from Heenan.

Mean Gene is with Paul Orndorff who retaliates by talking about dresses and plumbing. Someone in the crowd has a broken airhorn and I want to give them a colonic with it at this point.

Mean Gene is now with Roddy Piper who says he's here to pick up the bounty and to fight a guy in baby oil. If he doesn't get that $50k, he'll rip out Heenan's throat. Piper rips on Uncle Elmer and the wedding to finish off.

Paul Orndorff vs Roddy Piper

Orndorff out first and his reaction is pale in comparison to Hogan's. Piper comes out with the bagpipers and Heenan isn't too far behind. The match starts off quick and heated with both men throwing punches. Piper with a clothesline followed by a boot to the face and some choking. Orndorff fights back with right hands and chokes of his own. More brawling between the two and this is just a fight, all good stuff and the crowd agree! Piper with a sloppy looking DDT followed by a boot to the face of Orndorff. They go to the outside where Piper tries to use a chair but gets thrown into a table instead. Orndorff comes off the top rope as they go back in the ring followed by a nice back suplex and the crowd love it. Knee lift by Piper turns the tide until both men KO each other with shoulderblocks. More back and forth and it spills outside again where they continue to brawl until both are counted out. They both continue fighting each other all the way to the back until Piper locks Orndorff out of his dressing room. Really fun stuff and the crowd loved it! That is how a heated feud should be built up and Orndorff really grew throughout that match. The non-finish actually makes sense and I hope there's a finish to this feud. Match Rating: **

Have you got your hats? It's wedding time and the crowd are already baffled into silence. Hogan and Andre (in wrestling briefs) are there to offer support. Its all cringe-worthy as you would expect as the crowd turns on it pretty quickly. The poor bride even gets nailed in the face by flying garbage from the crowd. McMahon and Ventura continue commentating over the actual wedding. McMahon is painful as he treats it in all seriousness where as Ventura at least treats it as the farce it is. Thankfully Roddy Piper does come out and rips on the whole proceedings to salvage at least something from this one. Our first wedding on our blog and it was really embarassing.

Into the back and we're in the reception area and there's a shit load of farm animals.

Mean Gene is with King Kong Bundy, Big John Studd and Bobby Heenan. They rip on the wedding before claiming that they are the giants of the WWE and Andre is in fact...the third placed giant. Studd reminds Andre that he cut his hair! Ooooo...

King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd vs Andre the Giant/Tony Atlas

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Heels are already in the ring when we see Andre on his way. We see clips of the heels destroying Andre's ribs a few months earlier. What hurts is that any in-ring quality action we get will be from Tony Atlas of all people in this one. Andre and Bundy start this one of for us and the crowd are hot for this one. Andre chokes Bundy as the ref does fuck all about it. He uses Atlas' head as a weapon before tagging him in. Now Bundy takes control using his size but Atlas uses his speed to try and fight back. In comes Studd who goes back and forth with Atlas. Atlas goes for a body slam but can't get it so Studd takes control again. Andre distracts Studd as Bundy gets a cheap shot on Atlas. Andre tags back in and goes back and forth with Studd, sending him to the outside before Bundy comes back in and batters Andre. Studd nails Atlas against the ring post on the outside. Bundy and Studd both squash Andre in the corner but the bell rings for the DQ for both heels getting involved at the same time. Hogan runs out to big noise to make the save. Crap match where by there was no speed involved whatsoever. Hogan and Bundy finally have some interaction setting us up on the way to Wrestlemania 2. Hogan cuts a promo after saying that he's sick of the heels taking shortcuts. It's not your fight (yet) Hulk! Match Rating: DUD

We get a video of Mean Gene looking for George Steele. He does find him roaming around a zoo of some sorts. He shows Mean Gene around the park while doing his animal impressions and this is all good, 80's cheese! Weirdly enough, Mean Gene was quite funny in this one!

Mean Gene is with Brutus Beefcake, Greg Valentine and a cigar, smoking Johnny Valiant. They go back to when they won the titles from the US Express and everyone seems happy with themselves. 

Brutus Beefcake/Greg Valentine (Tag Team Champs) vs Tony Garea/Lanny Poffo [Tag Team Title Match]

Valentine and Poffo start us off and it's not long until Valentine takes control with headlocks. Poffo shows off some athleticism as we see the US Express watching from the crowd. Big scoop slam by Valentine before tagging in Beefcake. Poffo gets some brief offense including dropkicks and scoop slams and then nails a DIVING MOONSAULT...in 1985 WWE! Beefcake regains control and the champs use quick tags. Garea gets the tag and comes in like a house on fire on Beefcake. Dropkicks and a flying body press on Beefcake gets a 2 count. Valentine tags in and nails an elbow, locks on the Figure 4 and that's all she wrote! Champs looked strong with Valentine showing off a slightly bigger arsenal of moves but Poffo's moonsault, as sloppy as it was, suprised me! Match Rating: *

Into the back and we're invited to Uncle Elmer's wedding reception. We see Hogan, Orndorff, Ventura and McMahon all sat together. They review the wedding and Ventura doesn't shut the fuck up. PS...just after seeing Orndorff appear at Wrestlemania 30, I'm gutted he has no moustache. Captain Lou Albano tells us how to eat like a hillbilly before we go to Lanny Poffo who recites a poem but the less we say about the better. We chat to the hillbilly's before SOME GUY (thank you Marc P) called Tiny Tim appears and says its lovely to be there and talks about weddings. Ventura now recites a poem for the new couple and rips them a new one. To be fair, it's nail on the head stuff and all good. Jesse however ends up face first in the wedding cake and lol's are had by all to finish the show!

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Wrestler Scores:

• Hulk Hogan +5 (51)
• Nikolai Volkoff +5 (23)
• Uncle Elmer +2 (2)
• Jerry Valiant +1 (1)
• Paul Orndorff +6 (32)
• Roddy Piper +7 (43)
• King Kong Bundy +3 (15)
• Big John Studd +3 (13)
• Andre the Giant +4 (20)
• Tony Atlas +2 (9)
• George Steele +1 (4)
• Brutus Beefcake +4 (17)
• Greg Valentine +4 (40)
• Tony Garea +2 (9)
• Lanny Poffo +4 (6)

So there we have it, this editions updated scores! Hogan stays ahead overall and pulling out a standard Hogan formula match still gets 5 points mainly due to crowd reaction...same goes to Volkoff. Uncle Elmer would've had just the point for appearing...but he was a central point of the whole episode so I gave him another. Piper and Orndorff had a good show featuring prominently throughout plus advancing their feud with a decent brawling match. Finally I gave George Steele a point for his video package because it's all promotion in the end. None the less, this was a poor show worth viewing for storyline context alone. We did get our first MINUS match of the blog and our first wedding (although it made me wince...yes, wince!) Next edition its Saturday Nights Main Event 3! Remember to share the blog if you like it...follow me on Twitter @thewrestlindork ... and give the World Wrestling Alliance page a like on Facebook of which I am the resident reviewer (and old man)! Later days!