WWE All Star Search #15 - Championship Wrestling + Saturday Nights Main Event 4
Hello Turnbucklers! Its a new year for the blog as we are now in glorious and futuristic 1986! As of this moment, TV shows are going to included in the All Star Search and this edition we get our first taste. We have to semi-important blog debuts on this one. Randy Savage will be appearing on both shows which I find hard to complain about. Lots of hillbillies however and even Corporal Kirchner and that I can complain about. Also on this edition there is a WWE Title match and also a Peace Match...whatever the fuck that is. So onwards we go!
The Card:
Moondog Spot/Al Navarro vs Hillbilly Jim/Cousin Luke
Jeff Cripley vs Hercules Hernandez
The Killer Bees vs Barry O/Rick Jacobs
Don Driggers vs Randy Savage
Gino Carabello vs Corporal Kirchner
The Killer Bees vs Barry O/Rick Jacobs
Don Driggers vs Randy Savage
Gino Carabello vs Corporal Kirchner
Brutus Beefcake/Greg Valentine (Tag Champs) vs Tony Stetson/Paul Dose
Roddy Piper/Bob Orton/Jesse Ventura vs Hillbilly Jim/Cousin Luke/Uncle Elmer
Hulk Hogan (WWE Champ) vs Terry Funk [WWE Title Match]
Roddy Piper/Bob Orton/Jesse Ventura vs Hillbilly Jim/Cousin Luke/Uncle Elmer
Hulk Hogan (WWE Champ) vs Terry Funk [WWE Title Match]
Randy Savage vs George Steele
Nikolai Volkoff vs Corporal Kirchner
Ricky Steamboat/Junkyard Dog vs Don Muraco/Mr Fuji
Nikolai Volkoff vs Corporal Kirchner
Ricky Steamboat/Junkyard Dog vs Don Muraco/Mr Fuji
The Show:
So let's kick off with our first episode of Championship Wrestling. Don't expect long match descriptions with these ones, more discussing the character development and sociology of it all. Also, expect squash ratings instead of match ratings...this rates how impressive the squash match was. Our commentary team for this one is Vince McMahon and Bruno Sammartino. Sammartino stumbles his words instantly by the way.
Moondog Spot/Al Navarro vs Hillbilly Jim/Cousin Luke
So the jobbers get the jobber entrance while the Hillbillies come out to a decent pop. They have some fun with the crowd around ringside including playing with action figures of themselves. Luke gets confused and sits in the corner before being told to stand on the outside. Headlock by Jim to start but he no sells Spot when he has control. In comes Luke who hits the worst boot I've ever seen. Spot gets in a scoop slam and in comes Navarro but Luke regains control and rails out some awful offense. Jim locks in the bearhug and that's all she wrote. How is it possible that Uncle Elmer may not be the worst member of this Hillbilly group. Unfortunately I'm not American so a hillbilly gimmick does even less than nothing for me. Squash Rating: *
Update with Lord Al and this week its about Hulk Hogan, Roddy Piper, Ricky Steamboat and Don Muraco. We get a sneak peak at Hulk Hogan's Rock 'n' Wrestling and if anybody has watched it before, I'd love to know whether it was any good.
Jeff Cripley vs Hercules Hernandez
We have a blog debut on our hands...and it's Hercules! There is a lot of hair on that head of his and boy is he huge! At this point he is without his gimmicky attire. The amazingly named Jeff Cripley looks like a matchstick in comparison. Herc is with Freddie Blassie for this one. We get a lock up to start and a hip toss by Herc. He puts Cripley on his shoulder and poses before hitting a nice powerslam. More impressive strength as Herc hits a gorilla press slam before laying in some kicks. Cripley dropped across the ropes now before he eats an elbow drop for one. Another scoop slam by Herc before hitting a knee drop and more posing. He locks on a torture rack and gets the win! Good appearance by Herc showing off some impressive strength. He did seem a bit lethargic but I wasn't expecting lightning speed. Squash Rating: ***
Into the back with Mean Gene who shills an upcoming house show and his guest tonight is Macho Man Randy Savage. He says he will`be the WWE champion and says some randomers aren't as good as him. In comes Liz and Randy gets jealous when Mean Gene says hello. This was gold!
We get a clip of some music video called Land of 1000 Dances featuring a shit load of wrestlers. The song is dreadful but we get to vote for who made the best appearance and the winner will be announced at the Slammys.
The Killer Bees vs Barry O/Rick Jacobs
Its the blog debut for The Killer Bees who are B Brian Blair and Jumpin' Jim Brunzell. Barry O is Randy Ortons uncle and Rick Jacobs is Mrs. Jacobs son. Chain wrestling by Blair to start and Brunzell keeps it up when he's tagged in. McMahon wonders what the O stands for concerning Barry while Blair comes off the top rope with a chop. O gets a clothesline and makes the tag to Jacobs who soon enough eats a nice double team dropkick thingy. Bees looked as good as they could in the short amount of time. Squash Rating: **
Into the back with Roddy Piper who rips on Bruno Sammartino, Paul Orndorff and the women of Boston. They hype up the upcoming house show before ranting on Orndorff some more. Typical high tempo Piper stuff and it's all good!
Don Driggers vs Randy Savage
The music hits and out comes Macho Man and Liz to a good reaction...but it's probably for Liz who's looking hot as ever. A sign in the crowd reads 'Hogan loves Liz' which I bet Savage loved. Savage stalls as per to start until he's thrown to the outside. He sneaks round the other side and pearl harbours Driggers to the outside. He follows him, throws him back in the ring and nails a top rope ax handle. Scoop slam, Macho Man elbow drop from the top rope and he gets the 3 with an arrogant pin. Savage keeps up the heat by attacking Driggers after the bell and tearing up signs in the crowd. Even in 2 minutes, the pace of Savage (after his stalling) in nothing like anyone else on that roster. Squash Rating: ****
We get a clip of Piper's Pit with Fabulous Moolah who is now once again Women's champion after the WWE screwed Wendi Richter...legitimately. The incident was very similar to the Montreal Screwjob although it preceeded it by 12 years. Richter had no idea she was losing the belt as she had earlier refused to sign a new contract with the company. McMahon took the decision to take the belt back in retaliation and low and behold...Moolah reigns again. Although, she was under a mask and went by the name Spider Lady when she won. I would review the match...but I don't want to. Back to the Pit and Piper talks about Moolah having different body parts to him and then says Hogan asked Moolah on a date and she said no! Moolah is the one person Hogan could date and look old enough to be his mother. Saying that, we close the segment with Moolah and Piper making out. Why, Piper, why?
Gino Carabello vs Corporal Kirchner
Patriotic music hits and out comes Kirchner waving the American flag. Of course the crowd eat it up with a patriotic spoon but as soon as the match starts, the crowd fall flat. Its probably Kirchners awful in ring skill as he starts by botching a leapfrog. Awful scoop slam and an awful hip lock send Gina reeling. Suplex by Kirchner followed by an elbow drop. Underhook suplex gets a 2 count and a stalling samoan drop gets the 3. Messy yet patriotic so if you're American, you may love this. Squash Rating: **
The commentators talk about an upcoming Peace match between Kirchner and Nikolai Volkoff at the upcoming house show. Apparently its being done for 'scientific purposes' and is being treated as a breakthrough in the Cold War. Hard to argue that anyone BUT Corporal Kirchner and Nikolai Volkoff were responsible for world peace.
We get another package asking us to vote for catagory 2 of the Slammys for best performance. JYD, Nikolai Volkoff, Hillbilly Jim, Jimmy Hart, Lou Albano, Roddy Piper and Mean Gene. JYD is the only possible winner...SURELY?!
Brutus Beefcake/Greg Valentine (Tag Champs) vs Tony Stetson/Paul Dose
This is a non title match and the crowd start by chanting fruitcake at Beefcake. Valentine starts off in control hitting a nice scoop slam and a backbreaker. Beefcake comes in and hits a nice underhook suplex followed by a strange looking suplex. Valentine in with a suplex of his own before he works over Stetson's arm. Beefcake comes in who takes over on the arm then chokes Stetson in the ropes. Valentine with a scoop slam on the concrete while the ref is distracted before Beefcake hits one of his own in the ring. Valentine tags in and drops an elbow. Figure four leglock and that's enough for the win. Squash Rating: ***
Into the back with Mean Gene and Junkyard Dog. They hype up the upcoming house show and its typical JYD ranting about who he respects...its his fellow faces. JYD leaves and Freddie Blassie and Iron Sheik come in. Blassie botches his lines but covers well by ripping Okerland. Sheik rips on America as he does best and that's it for Championship Wrestling.
We start Saturday Nights Main Event with Hulk Hogan and Mean Gene on the beach drinking 'formula' in preparation for his match with Terry Funk. Roddy Piper and Jesse Ventura meanwhile are surrounded by women and rip the piss out of the hillbillies who are floating in the sea.
On commentary we have Vince McMahon and BOBBY HEENAN! McMahon runs down the card until he's interrupted by Jesse Ventura who hypes up his match tonight. He says he's the first announcer to get in the ring and back up what he says. Heenan gets big heat when introduced and he hopes he can live up to Ventura's reputation.
Mean Gene is with Roddy Piper and Bob Orton. They talk about his vendetta against the hillbillies. Piper justifies his vendetta by once again ripping the ever loving piss out of them. Ventura appears to back him up and he's dressed like a Poundstretcher wizard.
Mean Gene gets some words with the hillbillies and Hillbilly Jim says their family honour is on the line.
Roddy Piper/Bob Orton/Jesse Ventura vs Hillbilly Jim/Cousin Luke/Uncle Elmer
Out come the heels to big heat while we see clips of SNME 2. The hillbillies come out to a big pop which hurts me on the inside. Ventura and Elmer start and Ventura gets the first bit of offence before having to sell some crap punches by Elmer. Choke bomb by Elmer before he tags in Jim. Headlock on Ventura but he eats a kitchen sink. Piper tags in as does Cousin Luke. They have a stand off and a handshake spot but Cousin Luke clubs Piper. Piper counters, tags in Orton and they double team Luke. Piper back in and he taunts Jim. Quick tags between the heels as Cousin Luke tries to fight back to no avail. Orton hits an elbow off the top rope before Jim gets the hot tag. The ref didn't see it however and the heels go back to work on Luke. Uncle Elmer gets the real hot tag and has an awkward slugfest with Piper before putting on a bearhug. The whole thing breaks down into a six way brawl before the heels have to regroup. Back in and the brawl is on again as Heenan complains about McMahons biasness. Hillbilly Jim works over Piper and no sells Pipers slaps to the face. The heels manage to work over Jim in their corner and keep up the quick tags. Luke tags in and cleans house of the heels but gets trapped in Piper's sleeper hold. He escapes but gets nailed with Ortons cast while the brawl continues. Luke ends up back in the sleeper and passes out giving the heels the win. Better than what I was expecting but thats because they stuck with the basic tag formula. The crowd were into it and the heels were great. Better opponents for them would've been awesome but hopefully everyone moves onwards. Match Rating: **
We see clips of various superstars in some theme park. They are on a big water slide and Jimmy Hart has challenged JYD to a water slide race. Why does JYD always sound so drunk? Anyway JYD gets the win via sliding faster. Slide Rating: **
Terry Funk is at the theme park and he says he wants to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated when he beats Hogan. If they don't he threatens to 'fry 'em'. We see clips of a previous match between the two which ended with Funk branding Hogan but he didn't win the belt.
Mean Gene is with Hulk Hogan. He says Funk humiliated him and he has a suprise tonight...JYD is in his corner to keep Funk and Hart in check. He slurs through some words before Hogan ends with Terry Funk being his bone.
Hulk Hogan (WWE Champ) vs Terry Funk [WWE Title Match]
Out come Hogan to a big pop and he's got his Real American theme now. They lock up to start before Hogan nails a clothesline in the corner and then sends Funk out to the floor. Back in the ring they lock up again and Funk hits some chops. Hogan sends Funk outside again with an awkward clothesline and the crowd love it. Back in and Hogan gets a headlock before sending Funk outside once again, tipping the timekeepers table in the process. A chair is thrown into the ring so Hogan uses his initiative and sits on it. They lock up again and Hogan again takes control including hitting a back suplex for 2. Funk hits a headbutt and uses a cheeky lowblow to no heat. Funk heads up top the fool but gets caught and dropped. Hogan hits an atomic drop and a nice clothesline followed by an elbow drop. Hart trips Hogan so Hogan goes on a chase. JYD gets involved by Jimmy Hart flees under the thing. Funk manages to choke Hogan in the ring with wrist tape, carefully hiding it under the guise of a sleeper hold in a clever spot. Lovely piledriver by Funk for a slow 2 count. Hogan starts no selling Funks offense before nailing his own punches and an elbow. Hogan hits the big boot but Hart distracts him again proving JYD useless. Funk uses the distraction to get a 2 count as JYD finally nails Hart. Hogan hits a clothesline on Funk and gets the 3 count to no pop which is weird. Funk attacks the ref after the match before chucking chairs and shit around in a big huff. The thing is, on paper Terry Funk is a great opponent for Hogan. The issue is that WWE had so far made Funk somewhat of a comedy character instead of a legitimate threat. Granted he comes off like a lunatic but he's a lunatic that very rarely won clean. The match itself was good and is arguably the best Hogan match since Wrestlemania 1. I loved the wrist tape choke spot and it was nice to see Hogan sell a piledriver...even if it was brief. Match Rating: **1/2
We see clips of George Steele going through some crazy proceedures to help him become somewhat normal. It pretty much fails spectacularly and now he's back in the WWE and being managed by Captain Lou.
Jesse Ventura talks to Randy Savage who is with Liz. Macho ain't scared of George Steele and Liz gets chucked into a pool below by Savage.
Randy Savage vs George Steele
Out comes Savage with Liz as Steele is already in the ring. Savage is distracted by the crowd and Steele takes the chance to sniff Liz. Savage sees it and gets mad because...insecurities! We get stalling to start as per and Savage runs away from a flailing Steele. They finally lock up and Steele throws Savage to the outside before following. He gets distracted by Liz but Savage chases him away. Back in the ring Savage attacks Steele in the corner but Steele fights back. Savage drags him outside as they continue to brawl. Savage hides behind Liz to big jeers from the crowd. Back in the ring Steele hits a scoop slam before destroying the turnbuckle pad. Savage gets sent back outside while Steele plays with the fluff and stares at Liz. Macho with an ax handle off the top while Steele is distracted. That gets the 3 count and Savage carries Liz off on his shoulder to the back. I would've liked to see Savage get more offense in instead of being the cowardly heel. Match Rating: 3/4*
Mean Gene and Hulk Hogan are back on the beach to lead us into a 1985 highlights video set to 'When the Going Gets Tough' (the original, sorry Boyzone fans).
Mean Gene is with Nikolai Volkoff and Freddie Blassie. He says Russia is peaceful and this peace match is the first step to building military bridges. I couldn't agree more! This is all followed by a cheesy video of Corporal Kirchner before he tells Jesse Ventura that his military training means he will win! His promo skills are as good as his in ring skills.
Nikolai Volkoff vs Corporal Kirchner
Volkoff sings the Soviet anthem before the match and it feels like ages since I heard his lovely voice. Kirchner's music cuts him off halfway through and out he comes with a full military parade. I think I saw actual guns being paraded. They lock up and it ends peacefully! They lock up again and it ends peacefully again! This is pure Glasnost and Perestroika delight. Kirchner locks on a headlock but Volkoff counters into a 2 count. They have a test of strength as the fans chant USA and it all ends peacefully again. This. Is. Wrestling. We get some sloppy chain wrestling before they have another stand off. Another headlock by Kirchner but Volkoff counters and breaks it peacefully...then we get a handshake. Volkoff gives us a cartwheel out of nowhere but we gets more restholds afterwards by Kirchner. Finish comes when Volkoff drops Kirchner on the top rope and hits a knee drop for three. The Soviet wins and the crowd boo's. Kirchner attacks after the match and the crowd cheers. Way to make your own country, superstars and fans all look as fickle as possible. Weird choice of winner for 1980's WWE and weird aftermath. Match was shit by the way. Match Rating: DUD
Mean Gene is with Don Muraco and Mr Fuji who hype up their upcoming match. They rip Ricky Steamboat and Junkyard Dog...even discussing how to eat dogs. Once they leave, JYD and Steamboat join Mean Gene. Steamboat cuts a good promo and he's looking for revenge. JYD sounds drunk again!
Ricky Steamboat/Junkyard Dog vs Don Muraco/Mr Fuji
The faces come out to 'Another One Bites the Dust' while the heels are already in the ring. The faces start of on offense with JYD taking control of Muraco before Fuji gets tagged in. He takes over on JYD and tags Muraco back in to continue working over JYD. JYD hits a back body drop while Steamboat tries to start a JYD chant. Mr Fuji drops a headbutt to JYD's balls before tagging Muraco back in. Muraco misses a charge into the corner when JYD moves and he finally gets the hot tag to Steamboat. Crowd goes crazy while Steamboat rallies off chop after chop on Muraco and even Fuji gets come. Nice enziguiri back Steamboat before knocking the heels into each other. A flying body press gets 2 count for Steamboat and he tags in JYD who nails a headbutt for the 3 count of Mr Fuji. A fun little match which the crowd enjoyed and the faces too. Match Rating: **
Its the blog debut for The Killer Bees who are B Brian Blair and Jumpin' Jim Brunzell. Barry O is Randy Ortons uncle and Rick Jacobs is Mrs. Jacobs son. Chain wrestling by Blair to start and Brunzell keeps it up when he's tagged in. McMahon wonders what the O stands for concerning Barry while Blair comes off the top rope with a chop. O gets a clothesline and makes the tag to Jacobs who soon enough eats a nice double team dropkick thingy. Bees looked as good as they could in the short amount of time. Squash Rating: **
Into the back with Roddy Piper who rips on Bruno Sammartino, Paul Orndorff and the women of Boston. They hype up the upcoming house show before ranting on Orndorff some more. Typical high tempo Piper stuff and it's all good!
Don Driggers vs Randy Savage
The music hits and out comes Macho Man and Liz to a good reaction...but it's probably for Liz who's looking hot as ever. A sign in the crowd reads 'Hogan loves Liz' which I bet Savage loved. Savage stalls as per to start until he's thrown to the outside. He sneaks round the other side and pearl harbours Driggers to the outside. He follows him, throws him back in the ring and nails a top rope ax handle. Scoop slam, Macho Man elbow drop from the top rope and he gets the 3 with an arrogant pin. Savage keeps up the heat by attacking Driggers after the bell and tearing up signs in the crowd. Even in 2 minutes, the pace of Savage (after his stalling) in nothing like anyone else on that roster. Squash Rating: ****
We get a clip of Piper's Pit with Fabulous Moolah who is now once again Women's champion after the WWE screwed Wendi Richter...legitimately. The incident was very similar to the Montreal Screwjob although it preceeded it by 12 years. Richter had no idea she was losing the belt as she had earlier refused to sign a new contract with the company. McMahon took the decision to take the belt back in retaliation and low and behold...Moolah reigns again. Although, she was under a mask and went by the name Spider Lady when she won. I would review the match...but I don't want to. Back to the Pit and Piper talks about Moolah having different body parts to him and then says Hogan asked Moolah on a date and she said no! Moolah is the one person Hogan could date and look old enough to be his mother. Saying that, we close the segment with Moolah and Piper making out. Why, Piper, why?
Gino Carabello vs Corporal Kirchner
Patriotic music hits and out comes Kirchner waving the American flag. Of course the crowd eat it up with a patriotic spoon but as soon as the match starts, the crowd fall flat. Its probably Kirchners awful in ring skill as he starts by botching a leapfrog. Awful scoop slam and an awful hip lock send Gina reeling. Suplex by Kirchner followed by an elbow drop. Underhook suplex gets a 2 count and a stalling samoan drop gets the 3. Messy yet patriotic so if you're American, you may love this. Squash Rating: **
The commentators talk about an upcoming Peace match between Kirchner and Nikolai Volkoff at the upcoming house show. Apparently its being done for 'scientific purposes' and is being treated as a breakthrough in the Cold War. Hard to argue that anyone BUT Corporal Kirchner and Nikolai Volkoff were responsible for world peace.
We get another package asking us to vote for catagory 2 of the Slammys for best performance. JYD, Nikolai Volkoff, Hillbilly Jim, Jimmy Hart, Lou Albano, Roddy Piper and Mean Gene. JYD is the only possible winner...SURELY?!
Brutus Beefcake/Greg Valentine (Tag Champs) vs Tony Stetson/Paul Dose
This is a non title match and the crowd start by chanting fruitcake at Beefcake. Valentine starts off in control hitting a nice scoop slam and a backbreaker. Beefcake comes in and hits a nice underhook suplex followed by a strange looking suplex. Valentine in with a suplex of his own before he works over Stetson's arm. Beefcake comes in who takes over on the arm then chokes Stetson in the ropes. Valentine with a scoop slam on the concrete while the ref is distracted before Beefcake hits one of his own in the ring. Valentine tags in and drops an elbow. Figure four leglock and that's enough for the win. Squash Rating: ***
Into the back with Mean Gene and Junkyard Dog. They hype up the upcoming house show and its typical JYD ranting about who he respects...its his fellow faces. JYD leaves and Freddie Blassie and Iron Sheik come in. Blassie botches his lines but covers well by ripping Okerland. Sheik rips on America as he does best and that's it for Championship Wrestling.
We start Saturday Nights Main Event with Hulk Hogan and Mean Gene on the beach drinking 'formula' in preparation for his match with Terry Funk. Roddy Piper and Jesse Ventura meanwhile are surrounded by women and rip the piss out of the hillbillies who are floating in the sea.
On commentary we have Vince McMahon and BOBBY HEENAN! McMahon runs down the card until he's interrupted by Jesse Ventura who hypes up his match tonight. He says he's the first announcer to get in the ring and back up what he says. Heenan gets big heat when introduced and he hopes he can live up to Ventura's reputation.
Mean Gene is with Roddy Piper and Bob Orton. They talk about his vendetta against the hillbillies. Piper justifies his vendetta by once again ripping the ever loving piss out of them. Ventura appears to back him up and he's dressed like a Poundstretcher wizard.
Mean Gene gets some words with the hillbillies and Hillbilly Jim says their family honour is on the line.
Roddy Piper/Bob Orton/Jesse Ventura vs Hillbilly Jim/Cousin Luke/Uncle Elmer
Out come the heels to big heat while we see clips of SNME 2. The hillbillies come out to a big pop which hurts me on the inside. Ventura and Elmer start and Ventura gets the first bit of offence before having to sell some crap punches by Elmer. Choke bomb by Elmer before he tags in Jim. Headlock on Ventura but he eats a kitchen sink. Piper tags in as does Cousin Luke. They have a stand off and a handshake spot but Cousin Luke clubs Piper. Piper counters, tags in Orton and they double team Luke. Piper back in and he taunts Jim. Quick tags between the heels as Cousin Luke tries to fight back to no avail. Orton hits an elbow off the top rope before Jim gets the hot tag. The ref didn't see it however and the heels go back to work on Luke. Uncle Elmer gets the real hot tag and has an awkward slugfest with Piper before putting on a bearhug. The whole thing breaks down into a six way brawl before the heels have to regroup. Back in and the brawl is on again as Heenan complains about McMahons biasness. Hillbilly Jim works over Piper and no sells Pipers slaps to the face. The heels manage to work over Jim in their corner and keep up the quick tags. Luke tags in and cleans house of the heels but gets trapped in Piper's sleeper hold. He escapes but gets nailed with Ortons cast while the brawl continues. Luke ends up back in the sleeper and passes out giving the heels the win. Better than what I was expecting but thats because they stuck with the basic tag formula. The crowd were into it and the heels were great. Better opponents for them would've been awesome but hopefully everyone moves onwards. Match Rating: **
We see clips of various superstars in some theme park. They are on a big water slide and Jimmy Hart has challenged JYD to a water slide race. Why does JYD always sound so drunk? Anyway JYD gets the win via sliding faster. Slide Rating: **
Terry Funk is at the theme park and he says he wants to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated when he beats Hogan. If they don't he threatens to 'fry 'em'. We see clips of a previous match between the two which ended with Funk branding Hogan but he didn't win the belt.
Mean Gene is with Hulk Hogan. He says Funk humiliated him and he has a suprise tonight...JYD is in his corner to keep Funk and Hart in check. He slurs through some words before Hogan ends with Terry Funk being his bone.
Hulk Hogan (WWE Champ) vs Terry Funk [WWE Title Match]
Out come Hogan to a big pop and he's got his Real American theme now. They lock up to start before Hogan nails a clothesline in the corner and then sends Funk out to the floor. Back in the ring they lock up again and Funk hits some chops. Hogan sends Funk outside again with an awkward clothesline and the crowd love it. Back in and Hogan gets a headlock before sending Funk outside once again, tipping the timekeepers table in the process. A chair is thrown into the ring so Hogan uses his initiative and sits on it. They lock up again and Hogan again takes control including hitting a back suplex for 2. Funk hits a headbutt and uses a cheeky lowblow to no heat. Funk heads up top the fool but gets caught and dropped. Hogan hits an atomic drop and a nice clothesline followed by an elbow drop. Hart trips Hogan so Hogan goes on a chase. JYD gets involved by Jimmy Hart flees under the thing. Funk manages to choke Hogan in the ring with wrist tape, carefully hiding it under the guise of a sleeper hold in a clever spot. Lovely piledriver by Funk for a slow 2 count. Hogan starts no selling Funks offense before nailing his own punches and an elbow. Hogan hits the big boot but Hart distracts him again proving JYD useless. Funk uses the distraction to get a 2 count as JYD finally nails Hart. Hogan hits a clothesline on Funk and gets the 3 count to no pop which is weird. Funk attacks the ref after the match before chucking chairs and shit around in a big huff. The thing is, on paper Terry Funk is a great opponent for Hogan. The issue is that WWE had so far made Funk somewhat of a comedy character instead of a legitimate threat. Granted he comes off like a lunatic but he's a lunatic that very rarely won clean. The match itself was good and is arguably the best Hogan match since Wrestlemania 1. I loved the wrist tape choke spot and it was nice to see Hogan sell a piledriver...even if it was brief. Match Rating: **1/2
We see clips of George Steele going through some crazy proceedures to help him become somewhat normal. It pretty much fails spectacularly and now he's back in the WWE and being managed by Captain Lou.
Jesse Ventura talks to Randy Savage who is with Liz. Macho ain't scared of George Steele and Liz gets chucked into a pool below by Savage.
Randy Savage vs George Steele
Out comes Savage with Liz as Steele is already in the ring. Savage is distracted by the crowd and Steele takes the chance to sniff Liz. Savage sees it and gets mad because...insecurities! We get stalling to start as per and Savage runs away from a flailing Steele. They finally lock up and Steele throws Savage to the outside before following. He gets distracted by Liz but Savage chases him away. Back in the ring Savage attacks Steele in the corner but Steele fights back. Savage drags him outside as they continue to brawl. Savage hides behind Liz to big jeers from the crowd. Back in the ring Steele hits a scoop slam before destroying the turnbuckle pad. Savage gets sent back outside while Steele plays with the fluff and stares at Liz. Macho with an ax handle off the top while Steele is distracted. That gets the 3 count and Savage carries Liz off on his shoulder to the back. I would've liked to see Savage get more offense in instead of being the cowardly heel. Match Rating: 3/4*
Mean Gene and Hulk Hogan are back on the beach to lead us into a 1985 highlights video set to 'When the Going Gets Tough' (the original, sorry Boyzone fans).
Mean Gene is with Nikolai Volkoff and Freddie Blassie. He says Russia is peaceful and this peace match is the first step to building military bridges. I couldn't agree more! This is all followed by a cheesy video of Corporal Kirchner before he tells Jesse Ventura that his military training means he will win! His promo skills are as good as his in ring skills.
Nikolai Volkoff vs Corporal Kirchner
Volkoff sings the Soviet anthem before the match and it feels like ages since I heard his lovely voice. Kirchner's music cuts him off halfway through and out he comes with a full military parade. I think I saw actual guns being paraded. They lock up and it ends peacefully! They lock up again and it ends peacefully again! This is pure Glasnost and Perestroika delight. Kirchner locks on a headlock but Volkoff counters into a 2 count. They have a test of strength as the fans chant USA and it all ends peacefully again. This. Is. Wrestling. We get some sloppy chain wrestling before they have another stand off. Another headlock by Kirchner but Volkoff counters and breaks it peacefully...then we get a handshake. Volkoff gives us a cartwheel out of nowhere but we gets more restholds afterwards by Kirchner. Finish comes when Volkoff drops Kirchner on the top rope and hits a knee drop for three. The Soviet wins and the crowd boo's. Kirchner attacks after the match and the crowd cheers. Way to make your own country, superstars and fans all look as fickle as possible. Weird choice of winner for 1980's WWE and weird aftermath. Match was shit by the way. Match Rating: DUD
Mean Gene is with Don Muraco and Mr Fuji who hype up their upcoming match. They rip Ricky Steamboat and Junkyard Dog...even discussing how to eat dogs. Once they leave, JYD and Steamboat join Mean Gene. Steamboat cuts a good promo and he's looking for revenge. JYD sounds drunk again!
Ricky Steamboat/Junkyard Dog vs Don Muraco/Mr Fuji
The faces come out to 'Another One Bites the Dust' while the heels are already in the ring. The faces start of on offense with JYD taking control of Muraco before Fuji gets tagged in. He takes over on JYD and tags Muraco back in to continue working over JYD. JYD hits a back body drop while Steamboat tries to start a JYD chant. Mr Fuji drops a headbutt to JYD's balls before tagging Muraco back in. Muraco misses a charge into the corner when JYD moves and he finally gets the hot tag to Steamboat. Crowd goes crazy while Steamboat rallies off chop after chop on Muraco and even Fuji gets come. Nice enziguiri back Steamboat before knocking the heels into each other. A flying body press gets 2 count for Steamboat and he tags in JYD who nails a headbutt for the 3 count of Mr Fuji. A fun little match which the crowd enjoyed and the faces too. Match Rating: **
Wrestler Scores:
- Moondog Spot +1 (8)
- Al Navarro +1 (1)
- Hillbilly Jim +5 (6)
- Cousin Luke +4 (5)
- Jeff Cripley +1 (1)
- Hercules Hernandez +3 (3)
- B Brian Blair +4 (13)
- Jim Brunzell +4 (4)
- Barry O +1 (4)
- Rick Jacobs +1 (1)
- Don Driggers +1 (1)
- Randy Savage +15 (34)
- Gino Carabello +1 (1)
- Corporal Kirchner +5 (10)
- Brutus Beefcake +4 (21)
- Greg Valentine +4 (44)
- Tony Stetson +1 (1)
- Paul Dose +1 (1)
- Roddy Piper +8 (55)
- Bob Orton +4 (26)
- Jesse Ventura +5 (16)
- Uncle Elmer +2 (5)
- Hulk Hogan +8 (70)
- Terry Funk +6 (17)
- George Steele +3 (7)
- Nikolai Volkoff +3 (27)
- Fabulous Moolah +1 (4)
- Ricky Steamboat +6 (41)
- Junkyard Dog +6 (32)
- Don Muraco +4 (21)
- Mr Fuji +3 (13)
So there we have our first 1986 edition! Randy Savage scored highly due to his two appearances on the shows, plus his various promo's and segments were all good! Hogan gets extra points for emphasis on his cartoon plus the numerous promo's he appeared in and the same goes for Piper, JYD and unfortunately, Corporal Kirchner. It was good to see Ricky Steamboat and Terry Funk have good nights and they both picked up some decent points too. See you next time!
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Twitter: @thewrestlindork
